BLESSED

I have found mySELF, so many times...
Between the pages as I make sense of the words,
In front of my dresser as I button my jeans,
On the windowsill as I wipe the dust away.

I find mySELF and I smile,
Or I cry,
Or I make up lies and discuss them inside of my head,
Until I'm confused and can't remember how the discussion began,
But I know that I feel worse.

But I've learned about those lies,
And how to work past them,
and around them,
and through them,
And how to leave them behind.

So that I can smile again.
And I can continue to fine mySELF,
Whilst I learn, and dress, and clean.

When I was Twenty, I figured I was as Wise as I'd ever be.
That idea shrinks as I get Wiser and I realize
That I'm not as Wise now as I will be next week
Or next month
Or next year.

I adore how far I've come in this life.
I'm scared about how far I might go.
But I'm thrilled at where I am.

BLESSED.